ello everyone! It’s been a year since I am married and I thought to share 5 lessons that I learned in building a successful relationship with my wife, Diana.
# Lesson #1
Having your better half means a lot. It’s someone who you can rely on in a difficult moment, but also share a happy moment or an idea. My wife is my closest friend with who I share my thoughts. She can criticize an idea and help me to make it better. She also supports me in my new beginnings and made me a lot better as a person and a man.
# Lesson #2
A relationship is a project that you have to work on to keep it running and developing.
Entropy means destruction. We have to put energy to beat chaos and connect atoms in a meaningful way. Atoms mean neurons in your brain. Neurons connect to drive our behavior and thus affect the relationship between you and the other person.
To make it thrive you have to invest time, effort, and emotions.
# Lesson #3
Conflicts are inevitable. A person is a collection of memories and a will that can mix and generate original ideas.
It was not the scope of this lesson, but an interesting thing to think about.
Anyway. Each person’s memories and experiences are different. Think of each person as a gear. The difference is the pattern of the gears' teeth. I hope I got the description right.
When two individuals meet and build a relationship, the goal is to make the two distinctly painted gears work together.
That’s what you call a smooth relationship. It’s when you understand each other, respect, trust, and love.
Down the road, there will be many events seen from different angles. When conflict emerges, you have two ways to deal with it. A. A quarrel that can lead to a passionate resolution. You break a few parts of your gears but eventually, they acquire similar geometry and run together. Or B. Consistent work that can develop your relationship to another level. This way you build up slowly without damaging each other’s patterns and transforming them instead.
While option A can be tempting emotionally, it’s a dead-end though. After some time these emotionally tiring events can lead to deterioration in your relationship.
Work on the conflicts to find the source and deal with it once and for all.
# Lesson #4
I learned that falling in love feeling has to transform into a deeper feeling that is called love.
Early feelings of love are great and they are harder to have the same intense emotions once you had.
Therefore, it’s important to transform them into more stable and long-term respect, trust, partnership, and deep love.
# Lesson #5
Lightening up the mood with nice gestures.
Spiritual support and a surprise might be a good emotional distraction in a day-to-day routine.
Buying flowers, inviting you to a new restaurant, or saying nice words to your better self can lighten the mood and keep the fire warm and nice.
# Final thoughts
Your life consists of habits you have. Saying nice words or smiling at someone are habits. To build and improve a relationship, or anything else really, change your identity and your habits and you will truly thrive.
I hope it was helpful. Sharing experiences can save up mistakes one has made. You can read the full article on my blog ✌🏼